Balancing life as a wife and mother has never been about perfection for me. I've always challenged societal norms, especially the rigidity of a 9-to-5 workweek. This schedule often clashes with the fluid, unpredictable nature of family life, leaving little room for support that families, particularly mothers, truly need.
Today’s mothers find themselves under constant pressure. Expectations are plentiful, yet our time for self-care and relaxation is sparse. My partner, who works tirelessly, anticipates dinner on the table and intimacy daily—a stark contrast to my energy levels.
Truth is, I don't feel compelled to cook elaborate meals daily. Three times a week is my average, supplemented by leftovers and paper plates for ease. Recycling is virtually impossible with three kids clinging to me, demanding constant attention.
The early hours hold a precious refuge; I wake at 5 a.m. to savor a moment of solitude before the day's demands pile up. Reflecting on my partner's upbringing—a culture where women cared for the home and children exclusively—evokes occasional sympathy but more often fuels my resolve to redefine these roles.
Diaper changes, dressing, outdoor walks, meals, baths, playtime, and cleanup are already taxing. Adding societal expectations of more, feels overwhelming. Structured to work from dawn until dusk, my partner’s absence from 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. leaves little room for shared responsibilities or role-switching. How I wish we could trade roles some days! How I would love the hours of free time he spends on the ferries.
Finding joy in simplicity, yesterday, I bought a chicken, and we all watched the sunset at the beach—a simple routine we often do. My strategy for survival? Feed the kids at 4.30p.m. to preempt the evening chaos, embracing "crazy hour" with shared laughter and exploration. I was once at a playground with my kids at 530pm and the other mother there was packing her kids up quickly, asking me, "when will you make dinner?" She was so stressed out and tied to that specific time for dinner. In many other countries 9pm is a normal and appropriate dinner time. We are extremely tied to our societal norms and we don't bend them to what works for us!
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to being a wife or mother. Embrace your path, find what works for your family, and cherish each fleeting moment. The conventional route is not the only road to happiness. Life is too short to be boxed in by expectations. So, be yourself, and make it as enjoyable as possible. Do what makes sense for you and your family and enjoy as many moments with your kids as you can.
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